I take Betty on a sniff twice daily (other dogs might consider this to be a walk). There are so many things to sniff, but, of course, Betty is most interested in sniffing those things I don’t want to go near. The latest disgusting thing she desires to sniff is a flattened dead squirrel covered in flies in the middle of a rather busy road. As soon as we get to within 100 feet of this poor dead animal, Betty lunges towards it (it isn’t even visible yet) and tries to drag me into the road. When I stop her, she whines. Poor Betty, her oppressor won’t let her revel in the scent of a puss-oozing maggot-ridden corpse.

Today when I walked Betty, there was a ripped up Trump sign lying on the road. Betty peed on it. I’m so proud.

An adolescent sparrow was chirping up a storm in the backyard demanding food from its parents. Once Betty realized that I wasn’t going to give her any of the Frosted Raspberry Pop-Tart I was eating, she decided to check out the sparrow ruckus. Betty wandered over to the racket in her basset hound way and took a little basset hound leap—barely missing her very first kill by an adolescent sparrow feather. That is what I call teaching a sparrow a lesson.